This question has ben on my mind lately. To live in San Francisco and run a business and raise a family is no simple task, and yet these women are everywhere. They’re successful, they have an enormous capacity for others, and they’re full of good advice. So I decided to track a few down, these women who have carved their own creative paths to work, motherhood, and happiness, and in honor of Mother’s Day approaching, share a few of their stories.
Melissa: Age 38
Melissa owns and runs a beautiful urban oasis called International Orange Spa, has 2 boys age 6 and 3 and has been married for 11 years which is a long time in city-years. Her family just made the exodus from San Francisco to Los Gatos and she commutes now 2 days a week to her job where she employs 50 people. How does one get to this sweet spot with a beautiful family and job flexibility with a company that is your own? Not to mention endless access to spa services and luxurious skincare products?
Describe the process of starting your business.
My second job out of college I was doing internet marketing for a dot-com and I was miserable. A friend from college was living in New York and along with another girlfriend was laying the groundwork for building a spa- something unique that was also a brand. Bliss spa in NYC was really getting big at the time and it inspired my 2 girlfriends who moved back here with the idea that we should open a spa. We had some capital and rounded up investors, then I lost my job when my company went under and we decided to go for it. I started working on International Orange in the summer of 2000 and we opened in May 2002.
What was one of the biggest challenges?
When we started there were 3 of us partners, and right when we opened our doors our one partner got pregnant. From that point on there were 2 of us working here 6 and soon 7 days a week. I was sometimes teaching 11 yoga classes a day and my partner would be in the back doing massage. We did everything; operations, finance, managing, front desk. For 5 years we had maybe 6 contractors working with us.
When did you know that you wanted children?
I’m the oldest of 6 kids so I felt like I’d already raised a bunch of kids and now I had my business as my baby. I knew in theory that I wanted kids but for a long time I wasn’t ready to pull the trigger. There came a point in the business where my partner and I hired an assistant, and I was for the first time I was able to let go of some stuff. I was 31 and decided it was time to pull the trigger and got pregnant.
How was pregnancy for you?
Very difficult- both of my pregnancies were rough throughout. I was nauseous almost all the time. The first 16-17 weeks I practically had to lay in bed and work from home.
Did you take a maternity leave?
I took a total of 4 weeks where I did nothing for the business and then started some work from home and then I got a nanny. Both of my children had a nanny for the first 2 years and then they started daycare and Montessori school.
How do you juggle everything?
It’s hard being a working mom. I feel scattered all over the place with 50 employees, and 2 kids, and a husband. Who is going to take care of me?! Things have gotten a lot simpler as the business has done better and the kids are a little older. I used to have a lot of anxiety about the business, now I have anxiety that comes with having kids. But dealing with kids has really helped me deal with stuff. There are so many lessons from being a mom that cross over into my daily life.
Looking back would you have done anything differently?
No. Maybe not been so stressed out about certain things. But now, looking at my life from afar, I can see how everything was a lesson. I’ve gotten a lot better at learning how to control my stress and emotions.
What advice would you give to a young woman starting a business?
If you choose a partnership choose very carefully. Choose someone that will complement your skill set. You don’t want someone who is good at the same things as you. Also line up advisors. Always have someone objective to guide you; a coach, accountant, lawyer…
And when you have kids get the book, “Operating Instructions” by Anne Lammott. There’s this part where she describes the moment that you have children feels as if someone is holding a gun to your head and from then on it just stays there!
