Time spent at Mama Lounge, receiving an acupuncture treatment, massage or transformative counseling, may be the only time most of our clients take to observe their own mind.
Life is full for our mamas and mamas-to-be and often there is a lot of noise with that fullness. Whether you’re a mama, an aspiring mama, or simply human, it is important to develop an authoritative, but loving attitude toward your mind (we’re referring to that chatterbox inside your head); similar to the relationship you have with your own child. Be gentle, yet firm. Observe and acknowledge the stories that you tell yourself. How do you talk to yourself? What tone do you use? Our external relationships are often a reflection of our internal dialogue and how we treat ourselves.
Questions to ask yourself that might bring clarity to the practice being a “good parent” to yourself first and foremost are:
- Have you established a line between what is acceptable and unacceptable?
- Can you intercept harmful thoughts (like you would a child about to harm himself) and redirect?
- Can you affirm and celebrate positive thoughts and behavior?
- Can you forgive the mistakes?
We cannot stop our minds from acting out and misbehaving, but we affirm the positive and redirect the negative, just as we attempt to steer our children in the right direction. When you find yourself rationalizing toxic habits or berating your own worth, it is okay to shake your finger in the air, and to say to yourself out loud, “Naughty! Stop! You are hurting yourself! Calm down, you crazy monkey mind!” Don’t forget to add, “I love you.” It may even help to call out your full name, in an effort to center your presence, as you would your own child. Try it as a practice.
Dedicated meditation can help train the mind. Here is a simple exercise that we encourage all Mama Lounge clients to practice on a daily basis:
- Sit in Lotus position.
- Focus on your breath. Inhale, exhale, repeat until your body and mind are comfortable and synchronized with each breath.
- Lean forward and exhale as you bow your forehead to the floor. Inhale as you rise to straight back position. Repeat 20 times. A dramatic exhale as you bow, opens your hips and releases physical pain and old trauma. Any pain or tension that you carry inside is like a child. It is your duty to transform it.
- Acknowledge the feelings and thoughts as they rise, even painful ones, and just continue to focus on the breath as a detoxifying bellows-type instrument.
- Be gentle and allow yourself time to change.
Just as you would for your own child, celebrate small milestones. An infant holds their head up, then sits up, then scoots, before ever crawling or walking. Give yourself credit for gradual steps toward enlightenment.
As the space between your essential being and the negative self-talk grows, be grateful for the new energy that takes its place. See the beauty in simple improvements. The mind is still moving, but perhaps, the critical voice chimes-in less often, or seems smaller and weaker. Perhaps a sense of joy, peace or love occurs more often. Perhaps, in the midst of all the madness, there are even moments of silence. And at the end of the day, modeling self love is one of the very best gifts we can all give our children, in our humble opinion.
